When children experiment and explore the world they often seem to be in danger.

The necessity to prevent that danger leads to a feeling of urgency. An immediate reaction seems to be the best. And it usually happens with one that says “don’t do that”.

It’s the easier reaction.

And yes, often it might be appropriate.

It doesn’t make it a solution.

“Don’t” is a blanket prohibition, one that lasts, one that slowly but surely reduces the field of action and eventually curiosity. It often serves the recipient less than the one pronouncing the prohibition.

It’s way more difficult to offer the same thing with a permission. Saying “It is ok to …” requires to open up choices. It also requires that the recipient opens up to make a choice.

A consequence is, that once we have become used to a routine of “don’t” it becomes difficult to lead others. Instead of going out to discover what’s possible people have learned to search for restrictions.

It is ok to offer choices, to suggest where and what to explore.